Tour d’EPO?
Posted in Personal Stuff by John E. Pannell on July 18th, 2008 at 12:45 pm A third rider in this year’s Tour De France was removed from the Tour for doping. Gee, do you think there’s a drug problem in professional cycling? 
In “honor” of this most recent bust, I offer up this parody video that first appeared last July.
Here’s a translation from VeloNews, not repeating the choruses, from the original French and Spanish:
EPO I love you.
Because of you I will be number one.
Because of you I will get to wear the nicest jersey.I’m riding my bike in the country side, without much effort and no complex.
When I feel a little tired, I stop by the road and use an old remedy to get me going again.And when I reach the end of the stage, I’m acclaimed as a hero.
I don’t drink the champagne, I prefer my EPO.Attention everyone, every morning, with EPO, be one step ahead.
I’ll be prettier than Laurent Fignon,
stronger than Polidor,
crazier than Virenque and much nicer than Bernard Hinault.Thanks to you my EEEEEEEPO.
I won’t have to explain to cyclists who Fignon, Polidor, Virenque and Hinault are! The rest of you should be able to guess.
Here’s a much better translation I found elsewhere. It includes the spoken dialogue and the background vocals.
****
Hi, dom Pedro
Si ?
What is your secret to be so fast ?
You would like to know, don’t you ?
It is an “especial” potion.
I’m going to tell you.
1,2,3
EPO te quiero (EPO I love you)
Thanks to you , I’ll be “numero uno” (number 1)
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you, I’ll have the nicest of the jerseys.
On the roads of France,
I enjoy the sunny days.
I musn’t make too much effort
If I want to win the Tour.
I wander on my bicycle
Without effort or complex.
Far ahead of the peloton,
I’m humming a song.
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you , I’ll be “numero uno”
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you, I’m going faster than Tornado.
When I have a little pump strike (I feel drained)
Bicycle (pump)
I stop beside a field
Opium poppy (field)
So I extract from my bottleneck
of EPO
An good old medicine
And when comes the end of the stage,
I’m hailed as a hero.
Bravo, Bravo
The champaign, I don’t give a damn about it.
I prefer my EPO.
1,2,3
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you , I’ll be “numero uno”
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you, I’ll have the nicest of the jerseys.
…
Your attention ! Everyone saddles on !
Each morning, with EPO, get a leg up.
A product of ours the whole world envy.
For you and your bicycle, EPO is what you need.
Thanks to you my EPO.
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you , I’ll be “numero uno”
EPO te quiero
Thanks to you, I’ll have the nicest of the jerseys.
Cuter than Laurent Fignon, EPO
Stronger than Poulidor, EPO
And far crazier than Virenque, EPO
And more handsome than Bernard Hinault.
Thanks to you, my EPO.
My PP, my PO, my PP, my EPO,
My PP, my PO, my PP, my EPO,
EPO